a black girl

reForming the New

Friday, July 21, 2006

I am currently very unhappy with my website. I guess it is because I took such a short amount of time to make it. As if it were urgent or something. I made it in four hours. No thought to the way I would feel about it days later. Now I am thoroughly unhappy with it. So, I have decided to be an artist about it all and go ahead to create something I will be happy with for the time being. Something like the old sistapoet.com site where I was so content with it I kept the second layout up for almost a year before the whole thing went defunked. I want something like that.

When starting such projects. What always comes to mind is the visual cues the site needs to take. And then I think about the imagery. Once I get over lamenting over the fact that i do not have a digital camera (with the exception of the built in camera on my laptop which I am grateful for), I begin to think of what I have that will fit on my flatbed scanner and serve as a great visual cue for the rest of the site. Last night I decided to do a very light sketch of myself taken from a picture that was made possible by my laptop's internal camera. I am fine with that so far. But since black girl is an extreme project in narcissism (an inversion of axiomatik: an ugly black girl where i obscured images of myself) i feel the need to create new photos of myself and find other younger photos of myself.

Taking new photos is such a process. I have to confront myself every time and mold myself exactly how I want to be seen and how I see myself as beautiful. It takes me 50 shots to finally feel comfortable and eventually after that 50 I will be more comfortable with every photo taken thereafter. Loving the self is very hard work. I am still struggling through it.

Yes. There is a new layout coming. Possibly a new blog as I am quite out of love with blogger so if you have my blog saved under beanju.blogspot.com please go ahead an bookmark it as www.ablackgirl.com/blog. You can get here via that link now anyway and it will be the more reliable link in the future.

uttered by a black girl at 2:35 PM. | 3 comments

3 Comments:

Um, why are you always showing your breast?

By Anonymous, at 9:49 PM

new layouts are like reorganizing your apartment. or something like it.

i don't know, it feels good to me.

i like your layut, btw.

peace and good luck

By nubian, at 9:28 PM

I really feel you on this. I think for me it has a lot to do with, not only re-inventing myself, but uncovering, developing, exposing, hidding different pieces of me. I finally got a website up and running and I change it every day, ha...the process as always seems to be the most interesting part.

By the way, if you have a minute I have some design questions...I would appreciate your input

By Sarah, at 7:59 PM

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